Sorry it's been so long, I've been really busy doing cool-people stuff. Without further ado, lets begin!
Worst of the Day- "Hold It Against Me"
If Britney wasn't totally batshit crazy enough, she had to go remake a cheesy-country-novelty song that most people listen to while they ride mechanical bulls. I'm generally pretty intolerant of Britney; "Toxic" and a few other songs are mindlessly catchy, and she's hot enough to make me ignore the fact that she can't form a sentence. This song makes me want to shave my head, and it will probably do the same for you.
0 stars out of 5
Pop Review- "Sleazy" [Remix], Ke$ha feat. Andre 3000
Andre 3000 remixes a pretty average Ke$ha song into some kinda funkalicious ghetto stompa thats pretty classy. 3000 has a swaggering guest verse that raps about his awesomeness and how weird Ke$ha is. Ke$ha also comes as close to rap as she's ever done in her career at this point, and actually sounds like she could kick your ass for "tryin to circle jerk it and work it". The song is pretty good; it just needs more Andre 3000 and a little less twinkle in parts. Recommended.
4 stars out of 5
Alternative Review- "Jar of Hearts", Christina Perri
I just heard this song three days ago, but apparently it has been around for ages. "Jar of Hearts" isn't really my kind of song; it's a poorly-written piano ballad that moans for ages. However, Perri has a great voice that conveys a lot of emotion. If she wants to avoid being a one-hit wonder, she should probably follow the Sara Bareilles path of secretary rock. This song shouldn't be her only know song.
1.5 stars out of 5
R&B Review- "Down on Me", Jeremih feat. 50 Cent
I wanna punch Autotune in the face. It ruins EVERYTHING. It made the terrible Jeremih song even more terrible. From the Mozart who brought you "Birthday Sex", "Down on Me" is stupid and pointless; a forgettable song pasted over that generic R&B beat. As I said before, Autotune wrecks the song even more. Jeremih's voice isn't too bad, Autotune wasn't even necessary. 50 Cent sounds like a zombie, and one has to wonder why he even showed up to the studio. YUCK.
.5 stars out of 5
Rock Review- "Shake Me Down", Cage the Elephant
I didn't think these guys could top themselves after the awesome "Ain't No Rest for the Wicked". Well, they still haven't, but they came pretty damn close. Cage the Elephant specializes in jangly guitar sounds, punchy percussion, and the occasional synth. The only reason that "Shake Me Down" isn't as good as the other song I mentioned before is that the lyrics aren't as cutting and brilliant. Still, this track really breaks through the January music doldrums.
4.5 stars out of 5
Rap Review- "H.A.M.", Kanye West and Jay-Z
I'm really disappointed. An album collaboration between Jay-Z and Yeezy could have been spectacular. The disappointing first single off the upcoming Watch the Throne, "H.A.M." suggests another vanity project. Everything is lifeless, from the beat to the lyrics to the rapping itself. It is so uninspiring! I just don't want to talk about it.
1 star out of 5
I'm dropping hardcore indie and electronica reviews for today, there just isn't enough new stuff to review right now.
Best of the Day- "What the Hell", Avril Lavigne
Yay! Avril Lavigne comes out with her best single yet, a surfer-punk kiss-off with a sing-along chorus. Avril channels all of her rage into a perfect song that sounds like it should have come out in the summer. Its surfer-guitars make for a perfect California song, even though Lavigne is a known-Canadian (HISS!BOO!HISS!). What is likely to be the best song of January, and thats good enough me.
5 stars out of 5
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